Holding Patterns

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© Copyright 2004 Time Inc. All rights reserved.

Real Simple Magazine - November, 2004

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How to hold on, hold open, hold off, and hold up in 10 common scenarios.

Written By Jennifer Jafarzadeh
Photographs By Con Poulos
Additional Reporting by Paul Hertel

HOLDING PATTERNS 47

Get a grip on many aspects of your life by learning how to hold things properly - from chopsticks and a wineglass to a newborn baby (and even your tongue).

Your Tongue

When you were in your terrible twos, you could get away with impulsive verbal outbursts. Now it's unacceptable to react to your boss's irksome remark with a sharp criticism of her management style. "You don't want to say things in haste, because once the words are out there, you can't take them back, even if you apologize," says Samantha von Sperling, owner and director of Polished Social Image Consultants, in Boston. Before blurting out a statement, try taking a deep breath and counting to three before speaking. But just because you shouldn't always speak dark thoughts doesn't mean you shouldn't think them, says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and the author of Don't Bet on the Prince (St. Martin's Press, $13): "Holding on to your emotions isn't healthy, so say the angry comment to yourself." Carle also suggests responding to a rude comment with a positive statement and a smile. "Hold your forked tongue and offer a silver-spoon tongue," she says.

This Story ran in the Real Simple Magazine, pages 47 - 52, October, 2004.